Why are humans so intent on trying to teach us how to behave? Sit, down, stay, paw. Well here are the words that I had to learn to understand my Humans Susan and Windy, not just those daft do it words.
Firstly Chickens, they are the silly birds over in the allotment bigger than me, I try to herd them but really they are far too stupid to listen, sometimes they just look at me dumbfounded. If Windy or Susan shout Chickens its to go over and see to them so off we pootle to the allotment and check them out. Esme and Edna are the girls, sometimes if I'm really good, I'm allowed one of their eggs, scrambled, yummy, absolute heaven.
Swap! its when I pick up something I shouldn't, like the plastic that peels off the top of the milk carton, or the smallest of wood shaving, a bra that's only been worn once, you know the type. I've figured out this is bounty and will be swapped for a chew. I'm not daft!
Coal, there is a house outside that holds this marvellous stuff. It is my duty to
guard Windy and Susan when filling the coal scuttle from the house, because somehow when it is put inside the hole in the wall it makes amazing heat to laze in front of. I need to inspect the coal scuttle at all times and any small pieces of coal that that end on the wool rug are mine to play with. I know the word hot too and understand that anywhere near the hearth is too hot for me to be. I am much more clever that just sit or stay.
The word I really don't want to know and will not learn is tidy, why would humans put toys back in a box away, when they are to play with?
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